I’ve always felt like "too much."
Too sensitive, too hyper, too excitable, too intense.
Too much, too much, too much!
I felt like an “other." And that caused a lot of self-doubt--like maybe there was just something wrong with me. It never occurred to me that the very traits that made me feel like such a freak sometimes might actually be strengths--that they could help me give to the world in a unique way.
Being highly sensitive and empathic made me feel like a misfit for years. When you’re the only one feeling overwhelmed by the loud bar or the tension in the room--or the creepiness of that stranger--it’s easy to feel misunderstood and out of place. Over the years I developed my own little inner-critic. It told me I just had an overactive imagination and I should stop being so sensitive!
There was another judgey little critic in my head that nagged me about always being the biggest geek in the room. I’m super fascinated by so many things and I'm kind of hyper about it sometimes. I can get so excited that I often end up feeling like the lone seven-year-old in a room full of very serious grown-ups.
Because of this sensitivity and excitability, I often felt self-conscious and anxious about social interactions. And it’s exhausting to feel that way. To feel like the one who doesn’t belong. To be always thinking,
“Oh my god I’m doing it again.”
Being too much.
Meditation and coaching helped me to become more mindful and aware of the social anxiety I was feeling.
Even better, once I quieted my mind, I was able to develop a stronger connection to my own inner guidance--my intuition. I realized that a lot of the judgments swirling around in my brain weren’t even coming from me. They were just a bunch of cultural messages I’d internalized about what “adults” should be like—and how they should be living their lives.
As I examined these messages, one by one, I was able to discern which were authentic and helpful, and which were doing me harm. I began to get a clearer idea of who I am. Just me--without worrying about expectations and norms.
I realized that my "too much" is just a part of who I am--not something to "fix." My big excitement and sensitivity were things I could embrace and share...
For example, as a coach, when someone tells me about their big, scary, beautiful dream, it’s as exciting to me as if it were one of my own. This makes sessions fun and effective because enthusiasm and excitement are contagious! And my big empathy and sensitivity help me to “see” people for who they really are. I can see gifts and talents they never knew they had.
What we try to minimize and rein in, is often the most important gift we have to offer to the world.
I’m not the only one who’s tried to turn down the volume on my true nature. There are a whole lot of people out there feeling anxious and wasting their energy trying to hide or change who they are. They’re afraid they won’t fit in if they express themselves with full authenticity.
This has consistently been my experience with coaching clients. Many seem to think they need to be someone else to get the life they want. In our sessions they learn to see that what they thought was a weakness or a flaw, is often unique potential in disguise.
Once we do some mindset work, clarify their vision, and set some actionable goals, those perceived flaws can turn out to be strengths that end up setting them apart and leading to success.
When you hide your true self, you are also hiding your greatest gifts and strengths. You're hiding the best stuff you have to offer to the world. And the world needs your best stuff!
Maybe your thing isn’t “too much” energy or sensitivity. Maybe you feel like you’re too shy, or too goofy, too spiritual, too weird, or too old. Or maybe you’re afraid you’re not enough of something. Not cool enough, smart enough, creative enough, original enough, old enough. Whatever. It doesn’t matter.
The point is that most people think they should be something or somebody other than who they are. And that’s a waste of their unique potential.
Fulfilling that potential—diving deeply into your destiny—is the best feeling in the world. Not only that, when you put your amazing, untamed, freaky, beautiful, real self out there, in a big way, your courageous example gives others permission to do the same! You inspire them and you set an example for greatness.
Dive into your destiny and inspire the world!
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