...That's easy to say but not always so easy to accept...
Most of us have been tempted to cancel a date, performance, job interview, or difficult conversation because we didn't want to risk failure, embarrassment or rejection. The impulse to try to block, numb, or avoid these uncomfortable feelings at all cost is completely understandable.
But when our primary focus is to protect ourselves from failure, we're actually just protecting ourselves from living full lives and reaching our potential. Whether it’s taking a big chance at work, going back to school, or falling in love, we don’t get any guarantees that things will turn out the way we want them to. But we still need to take the risk.
If we're so afraid of failure that we don't even try, we have already failed.
But what about those times when things go very very badly? When we end up getting fired, failing the class, or sitting all alone with a broken heart? Is all that risk really worth it?!?
In relationships, for instance, is it really better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? How do we find the confidence and optimism to repost our dating profile and try again?
How do we summon the ambition to face a new round of job interviews after a layoff? How do we go from a depressed blob in front of the TV to a resilient, motivated believer that the next challenge is worth taking on? It'll sound trite to say this but...sometimes it's just really hard to be a person! That's just how it is. It doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong.
The only way I know to hold onto your spark, inspiration, and buoyancy is to savor the easy, joyful times while learning all you can from the inevitable difficulties and tragedies of life.
Keep in mind that we all experience heartbreak and hardship in different ways--and with differing levels of intensity. We have our own paths with varied strengths, challenges, and timelines. So we can't judge ourselves or others for giving up or getting stuck sometimes.
But disappointment, failure, and heartbreak can make us stronger, wiser, and more compassionate as long as we’re paying attention and looking for the lesson.
When we experience a big failure or disappointment, it’s normal to doubt ourselves and our abilities. it's so easy to lose hope in the moment! We wonder if we're on the right path after all.
But we can learn more from our failures than from anything else. And if we face them with courage and honesty, we can try again and succeed!
“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.”
- Denis Waitley
To be alive is to sometimes fail. And we need to go through failures and disappointments to refine our vision and build strength and resilience. We need to allow ourselves to feel that discomfort in the moment while having faith in ourselves--believing that we will survive it. We can come out on the other side of failure--stronger than we were, and better prepared to take the next steps toward success.✪
P.S. We can’t always do it on our own. Professional psychological help can be so important if you're in crisis or actively looking into past traumas. But if you’ve already done the work you needed to process your past then coaching can help you find clarity in your present and future. Learn more about my intuitive approach.
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My mission is to help each highly sensitive and empathic person wake up to their power, brilliance, and authentic path. Please get in touch if you have any questions, stories, or want to schedule a one-on-one session to explore your soul's purpose. Please share this article on social media if you think you might know other Empaths and HSPs who could benefit.